Bret Britland here saying hello to all of you not from the United States of America. We realize that, over the years, you have submitted some really outstanding, award-winning radio creative. It may have been Cannes. It could have been a Clio. You may have even won the LIA. Quite honestly, I don’t know where I’m going with this other than to say congratulations. I’m also, in the true American way, extending the olive branch of peace (with whomever agrees with me, which is another great American trait) and wish you the best of luck in this year’s LIA.

We, as Americans, are a proud people. We are intelligent, compassionate, demure, sensible ambassadors of goodwill. Excuse me? Oh, Canadians and New Zealanders are like that? Oh. My mistake or, as the kids say, “my bad.” I’m not even sure what “demure” means.

Anyway, we’re hoping to give it a good go this year. If we win, we will do so with the class that we’re known for: chest thumping, high fives and perhaps a few bars of “in your FACE” as we jump up and down awkwardly. Wait, I think Canadians do that. No? Really? It’s us? Oh. Well, if we lose, we will also do so with the class and dignity that we’re known for: pouting, gnashing of teeth, blaming liberals and the dollar/pound exchange rate.

For those of you not from the U.S.A., best of luck. I won’t say that you’ll need it but you actually might this time.

With a Firm Handshake and Good Eye Contact,
Bret Britland