Speaking of liars (please go back to 2nd sentence to reread if you have a problem, like me, with reading comprehension), I just read the Al Franken book about the liars. I didn’t get it. I suppose as a fiscal miscreant and social deviant, I shouldn’t understand the book but Chaz told me it was funny. I will take his word for it as soon as he wakes up from his third nap of the day.

1) Girding my loins for the upcoming election. I am still thinking of writing in Pat Paulsen.
2) Traveling the globe spreading goodwill for America. I visited Thailand (where the Thai food is just outstanding), Mykonos (where the Mykonosian food is delicious), Kabul (where I did not really belong) and Amsterdam (where the brownies were delicious and made me feel somewhat strange).
3) Selling off the rest of my Worldcom and Enron stock. What? That was years ago? No wonder I haven’t seen a dividend.
4) Working on my new CD, “Bret Britland Sings Cabaret.” I managed to get Dearie Blossom to help me out. I also managed to get Mayim Bialik (TV’s “Blossom”) to sit in on a couple of songs. Expect this to come out in January or May.
5) Purchasing everything I need when I go to London in a couple of weeks. So far, I have bought: Hawaiian shirts (I hear the weather is delightful), sunscreen, ketchup (for the chips) and some Dramamine for the flight.

Speaking of which, I got a sweetheart deal on a wholesale plane fare. I will be leaving Redding, CA and flying to Los Angeles. From there, I will fly to Mumbai on Air India. After Mumbai, I will take Emirates to Dubai, then from Dubai to JFK. After that, I will go from JFK to Dublin on Aer Linguist, from Dublin to Manchester on bmi. From Manchester, I will board a train that will first take me Swansea, Wales. I will then take a bus to Cardiff, where I will board another train to Paddington Station (like the bear). I will then take a 32-hour nap at the Comfort Inn at Notting Hill Gate. Then I will be refreshed.

I managed to get this sweetheart deal for only $12,480. I am PSYCHED!

But what rolls my oats is the fact that a Hershey’s bar with almonds is 89 cents in some places. That’s just HORRIBLE.

That’s the dealmaker or breaker, kids.

Thank goodness there is a Starbucks near my hotel. I can get that Double Chip Frappaccino I love.

That’s what I call capital.

If you play his speech backwards, starting at 3:08 in and go back about :27, you’ll hear what I mean.

Another option is to write in Tommy Smothers. Which I think is the wise choice.

I just wish there were more Bill Devane videos. THEN they’d be on to something.

So I went there and was a little disappointed to find that there weren’t actual photos to be purchased. It’s a program, on the computer that, as far as I can tell, allows you to put your photo elsewhere. I decided to give it a go, so I spent the $1800 needed to download and gave it a try.

This is my first effort with Photoshop. I’m not sure what I’m really doing yet, but I think it is a very good start. In this picture, I have cleverly replaced the head of one of subjects with my own. I think it will be difficult for you to figure out which one it is. But I CAN tell you that the older gentleman is Boutros Boutros Ghali, a punchline to one of the many jokes in Seinfeld.

Thanks to Ernie Leibowitz for shooting it. Someone asked me what was wrong with the light and I said that there was nothing wrong with the light, it was his eyes.

I believe Ernie is related to Annie Leibowitz who has done some decent black and white landscapes that showed up on the walls of fraternity men on the make in the late 80s/early 90s.